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It was just like a fairy tale, only not. The princess, in her academic tower, meets a super-smart prince (the astrophysicist), and they fall in love and go about seeking the perfect palace of ivory to do their very important work. The princess writes about dark things - our long history of demographic and ecological crisis, and how they may play out again, but this is just a job. Except that she gets kissed by one big ugly frog - the realization that our way of life can't go on. So she drags the prince (who keeps rolling his eyes and asking whether someone else can't do some of this) off to try and establish a way of life with a future, using a fair share of the world's resources. So now she's up to her knees in chickens and laundry, milking goats, making jam and splitting wood, while also writing books and this blog about food, energy, climate change and whatever else strikes her fancy. And except for the fact that the planet is still getting warmer and the oil is still peaking, she's actually living happily ever after.
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Category: humor • seeds
Posted on: March 14, 2010 5:01 PM, by Sharon Astyk
After all that work, you'll want to plant good seeds. Glenn Beck approved seeds, ideally. Well, Stephen Colbert is right on board, aware that in a disaster, we'll all want raddichio. He's even started his own crisis herb garden, because, "I may be ready for a world where the streets run with blood, and zombies rule the night and feast on human flesh. But I refuse to live in a world where I can't garnish."
| The Colbert Report | Mon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c | |||
| Survival Seed Bank | ||||
| ||||
Sharon
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Comments
Which begs the question:
how do you keep zombies out of the garden? Scarecrows ought to attract them.
More questions;
Do zombie heads make good fertilizer?
Do they consume nitrogen in breaking down?
Are they "brown" or "green" in the compost pile?
This is important information. Thanks.
The government can have my pitchfork when they pry it from my muddy, wet fingers!
Posted by: vertalio | March 14, 2010 5:49 PM
A cute comedy skit. Glosses over a few facts, though.
I mean, a plow whittled out of a downed tree branch has to be simpler to use.
Others sell the "essential garden kit", some for survivalists, some for new gardeners. The price of $149 seem about reasonable, depending on what is in it, and how the seeds are preserved. Compare the cost of the seed collection to the list of what is included, the quantities, and how it is packed for longevity. Reputable people selling seed collections usually explain the best way to know the seeds will be useful when you need them - is to plant them and keep seeds each year. That way you know what you have, the seeds are "fresh" enough to do you some good, and you get a chance to tailor the garden to fit your family's and community's needs.
Posted by: Brad K. | March 14, 2010 6:00 PM
My favorite bit- the barbed wire on the herb tray- :-)
Posted by: Greenpa | March 14, 2010 6:55 PM
"Others sell the "essential garden kit", some for survivalists, some for new gardeners. The price of $149 seem about reasonable, depending on what is in it, and how the seeds are preserved."
Um, no. The package these guys sell contains 22 seed packets, standard sizes (or maybe a little larger), 'heirloom' varieties. You can get the exact same seed content from heirloomseeds.com (or from other non-scam sources) for less than $2/pack. There is no way in hell that the packaging is worth $100+.
And given other quotes from the 'Survival Seed Bank' site, such as:
It's a scam. And what may be the worst part of it is that you're absolutely correct: the best way to store seeds is to grow them and collect new seeds year to year. That's why you want the non-hybrid strains: hybrids don't breed true, not that anyone here doesn't know that :) But these douchebags are marketing their seeds as for emergency use only - hide the special seed tin to 'avoid confiscation' (WTF?) and use the seeds only when society collapses around you.
Jerks. I mean, I hate the Glenn Beck 'buy gold now!' crap with a passion, but these guys are even worse...
Posted by: mad the swine | March 14, 2010 10:58 PM
@vertalio:
I don't have the answers for those specific questions, but I did recently write a list of fourteen houseplants I recommend for various practical applications (treatment of burns, perimeter defense, toilet paper) during the Zombie Apocalypse, if you're interested:
List: Houseplants You'll Want to be Growing During the Zombie Apocalypse of 2014
Posted by: mr_subjunctive | March 14, 2010 11:35 PM
@vertalio
http://begthequestion.info/
Posted by: BdN | March 14, 2010 11:49 PM
Greenpa, I'm with you...loved the barbed wire!! I want a picture of that for my screen saver!
Sharon, it's funny but he DOES have a point...just because society may collapse, doesn't mean we shouldn't eat tasty food. It was a point made for humor, but he's actually hit on a very important point.
Just sayin'.
Posted by: Susan | March 15, 2010 1:55 AM
What's hilarious is that conservatives always view concerns about genetically modified crops as something that only crazy hippies believe in or, worse, European socialists trying to undermine the free market. But all you need to do is sell it to them the right way. This reveals that the only ideological commitment that Glenn Beck's audience has is fear. Sell them that and they'll buy anything.
Posted by: EMJ | March 15, 2010 2:56 AM
Susan--that's not Stephen Colbert's point. I think his point is that survivalists and preparedness people tend to be wacky Glenn Beck cultists who can't think for themselves. Clearly, that's not true--I'm a wacky Sharon Astyk cultist!
Posted by: Kerrick | March 15, 2010 12:32 PM
Or you could just get your seeds for free.
http://dinnergarden.org/
Or donate.
Posted by: k8 | March 15, 2010 4:44 PM
Many of the crazies believe that Codex Alimentarius is going to ban growing your own food of any kind, and that governments will be sending out the troops to enforce this any day now. The black helicopters are coming for your guns and your veggies. No, really...
With respect to the title of the post - as a no-digger, I'd say that "when you are plowing the ground with a human femur", it's time to reconsider the supposed necessity of tillage. ;)
Posted by: Dunc | March 16, 2010 7:51 AM